Day 7

This is my last day in Chartres. The sky was filled with clouds until it rained half way through the day. Then the sun emerged from the clouds and dried the water. The weather matched my mood. The morning was clouded by sadness as I thought of leaving tomorrow. I have been here 7 days and have been into the cathedrale maybe 3-4 times a day. That adds up to 21-28 times. Every time I entered, I said at least one short prayer and many times I sat for over an hour. The cathedrale has become a home away from home. A safe place to think, prayer, hope and dream. A unique place to confront the past and heal, to appreciate the present and let the future come as it will.

As the rain fell this afternoon, I laid down for a nap. I read somewhere years ago, that when you are submersed in another language, you need more sleep because the brain is always on as it continues to decipher even when you have turned off the background noise. I felt that tiredness and the nap was refreshing. As the sun came out, so did I. I felt lighter and ready to enjoy my last evening. This sentiment appeared to be felt by many. People were everywhere; enjoying the outside.

Dinner was at La Passacaille. The pizza was divine. You ask- aren't you in france? Mai, oui. I am guilty of craving Italian. Food has not been mentioned in my earlier essays, but I can only say I am in heaven. Chocolate three times a day is my idea of a diet! And the list goes on. I have savored every meal.

What is the sum of my lessons here? What can I take with me to share with others and myself? Why did GOD ask me to meet HIM here? I have as many questions now as I did when I started this pilgrimage, but they are different. Many have been answered in the last 7 days. And I know that I will see deeper insight as I move into the future and reflect.

This is what I know now: GOD is in many places, we have to show up. He delights in our loving attention and HE longs to show us HIMSELF. I saw HIM in so many details of my trip.

GOD is in the present time. HE wants us to be present. This is where life is. Memories are wonderful to treasure, but we mustn't miss the present. I realize that in giving the people around us the gift of the present, we honor our relationship with them. This is something I will begin to cultivate. The concept has been introduced to me many times, but hopefully it is beginning to sink in. STAY IN THE PRESENT.

I enjoyed watching people interact. Since I was quiet so much of the time, I had time to observe my surroundings. I noticed how beautiful people are in all the different colors. It is refreshing that we are all unique; with our customs, skin color, family traditions, faiths and culture. As different as we are, we are also very similar. We love our families, our faith, eating good food, laughing and loving. It has been good for me to be in the diversity. I don't experience it as much at home and for that I am sad. There were many countries represented in the people I observed this week and we all got along. Only one man got thrown out of a restaurant with bread flying over his head. I would have loved to hear that story!

GOD is about compassion; for ourselves and for others. As a good FATHER, he wants HIS beloved children to get along. And we don't always. I am sure HE gets frustrated with us as we get frustrated with our loved ones when they fight.

GOD is about special occasions. HE loves a good celebration. Life is a celebration and we've been invited. Will we show up?

GOD is about love. Will we pass on what HE has given us in abundance?

GOD is about contemplative time. This can be achieved walking a labyrinth, sitting quietly to listen to a magnificent organ concert, concentrating on a beautiful stain glass window or meditating on a phrase or two. Any of these methods can transport us beyond ourselves and into the realm of the heavenly. Experiment with different method so you may find what works best for your time with our FATHER. Make time everyday to experience the extraordinary power of GOD.

During this week, I experienced a couple side stories which made this trip even more fun. Years ago, I read a historical fiction book about a girl growing up in the world of tapestry making in the middle ages. It centered around a series of 6 panels called the Lady and the Unicorn. I googled the tapestries and sure enough, they were real. Then I went on with life and forgot about them. While in Europe with Cullen 3 summers ago, I discovered that these panels were on display at the Cluny Museum in Paris. I dragged him to view them with me. They were breathtaking and unique and I fell in love with them.

What is intriguing is the mystery surrounding these tapestries. The name of the family who commissioned them has been lost in time. Many guesses but nothing for certain. Even the meaning of these panels requires deciphering. And I do love a good mystery. At the time, I bought the brochure describing them in detail along with all the speculations. I threw this brochure into my suitcase for this trip. Not sure why. In one of the shops in Chartres, I noticed some beautiful tapestries from Flanders. I began to look through them. To my surprise, there were some of the Lady and the Unicorn panels in reproduction. My favorite is the last panel in the series called Mon Seule Desir (my only desire or one desire) I mentioned the concept a couple days ago when I wrote about the 5 senses plus the sense of the heart which is argued to be a part of the "six" senses. I think there is some truth to this theory. The first day, I found the panels for the sense of hearing and touch, but no others. I had forgotten the story behind the tapestries, etc. so I hurried back to the hotel to refresh my memory. After falling back into the mystery of it all, I decided that if the store had my favorite Mon Seule Desir, I would buy it to hang in my bedroom. To my joy, they did.

And I bought it. I am thrilled by the turn of events.

I have found that many of my experiences are interwoven from the past into the present. The "rest of the story" comes to me "as it will" if I am paying attention.

Let me know your "as it will" stories. Bonne Nuit.

DAY 6 of A PILGRIMAGE

Day 6

I have skipped over days 4 & 5 for I have had difficulty putting into words all that is going on inside of me. Lots of preparation for my next step, but unsure what that looks like. I will get back to those days later. For now, I want to tell you of the labyrinth:

Today is Friday. The day that the labyrinth is uncovered- chairs removed so people from around the world can use this spiritual tool which has been used for over 800 years. There is something mystical and magical to think of all who came before...and all who will come after.

I had a sleepless night, but awoke at 8a without the help of an alarm. I had an alarm set so I wasn't restless in thinking I had to wake up on my own. What is amazing about this is that I haven't woken up before 9:30 so far. I jumped out of bed and prepared to go. The church opens at 8:30 and I wanted to be one of the firsts. I got there with 5 minutes to spare so I sat down on a bench in front of the royal portal. I glanced up at a clear sky and a bright sun. The sunlight lit up the 2 towers in parts, some in darkness while others shining with the sunlight. I loved the way the light played with the architecture.

At promptly 8:30, a person unlocked the iron gate and welcomed us. 3 of us walked into the nave, where it was a hushed darkness. Around the labyrinth stood a group with candles saying prayers. I have to admit that my first thought was "no fair, why wasn't I invited to this special event?" Then I laughed. Isn't it like us to want to feel special as we participate in special events only for a select few? God gently said, "your journey is a private one between you and I. You don't need this to feel special". People started to move around in preparation for walking the ancient stones. A handful of people entered before me and quite a few were behind me. My heart sunk as I acknowledged that I didn't want all these people around. Again, I laughed. This is life. People are always around. Their presence can bother us and dampen our experience OR we can learn to walk our journey with all these people around, keeping fast to our inward walk. So I started. It was slow going at first b/c people walk at different speeds. The woman before me liked to stop often and gaze upward. I decided to go with the flow and do likewize. This bothered some women behind us so they quickly past us on the quest to reach the center. I wonder if the center is your only focus, what you will miss in getting there so quickly. I am learning to be humble, observe and not judge so I am only making an observation. I do realize that we walk this in different stages of our lives; with different focuses. One author said: "All who walk the labyrinth are on the same path with the same goal. (I think the goal is not to reach the center, but for GOD to reach us) There is always a time when you go by someone moving in the opposite direction. Don't be fooled by appearances. Whether heading into the center or heading out from the center you are both on the same path." In this way, labyrinths can be used as a tool of compassion. As I passed beside people going along a further part or when I was walking out of the labyrinth, I used my time to observe others and smile. It is amazing what a smile can do- meaning without words: we are in this together.

As I walked towards the center, I constantly pulled my mind back into the present. It is so easy to allow our thoughts to roam and rob us of the present experience. Stopping, feeling the stones beneath me, looking up at the stain glass windows and saying a prayer of thanks were ways to bring me back. I was concerned that when I reached the center, it would be too crowded for me to say the Lord's prayer using the 6 petals of the rosette. "Do not worry" was the answer. So I let that go. I focused on just being.

There are many curves which take you on a 180 degree turn. There are times you feel you've just been there, but you are going a different direction. The beauty of this is that you can see what you missed when you were walking the other way. Potentially the same place, but different perspectives. What a wonderful way of looking at life.

I like thinking of the worn path, composed of many stones. All having beginnings and endings. Where one ends, another begins. Saying goodbye to one chapter opens you up for the next chapter. Whether it be a wonderful time in your life or the most difficult, these chapters do have a beginning and an end. Living in the moment allows us to get the most out of each chapter. There are lessons and silver lining experiences in every day living.

When I am relaxed in where I am going; knowing that the path is planned out, I feel at peace. Many turns make it impossible to see past the next turn, but I can be assured that there is a path. I believe this is the answer to successful living. Walking the steps in front of you as they open themselves, armed with confidence allows you to live this day to the fullest. Someone knows where you are going and it doesn't have to be you.

I reached the center as the only person left. I was alone in the rosette. This was truly amazing. I had pictured myself bumping into lots of others as I prayed. To be alone was glorious and an answer. I quietly went through my prayer of faith, surrender, service, abundance, forgiveness and strength. As I walked out of the 6th petal, I was drawn to the center circle. I stepped in and realized that I wasn't finished. It felt right to say "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. amen." Now I was done. I was ready to take the curved path back to the beginning. As I met others going towards the center, I paused and smiled. It was a wonderful feeling to acknowledge each of our journeys with a smile. So easy to give, so easy to forget to give.

I left the cathedral with a joyful smile plastered on my face. I couldn't have frowned at that moment to save my life. I was too right with the world to frown.

I plan to go back later today, hopefully when the crowds have diminished so I can do it again. I feel more alive and open to life than I have ever felt. So many possibilities. The future looks bright. And you know how long I've waited to get here!

A side note: How are labyrinths a spiritual prayer tool? I have wondered this and think that God uses anytime we are quiet and still to show up and be with us. What makes a labyrinth beautiful is this; it allows our bodies to move while our minds can be still; walking and meditating without running into any walls.

DAY 3 of A PILGRIMAGE

Day 3

Another late morning- jet lag is still evident, but the good news is that it doesn't matter. I can come and go as I please- the one joy of traveling alone.

While walking to the cathedral, I stopped at a boulangerie. At this quaint bread shop, I purchased a quiche lorraine to go. I strolled down the cobblestone road eating my mini quiche to go. These french have a great menu to go.

Yesterday, I noticed an older gentleman singing/begging inside the gate of the cathedral. I ignored him. Last night, I read about him and how engaging he is when you strike up a conversation. Today I decided to talk to him. He began to sing as I placed 1 Euro in his shell. I kid you not, he was asking for "donations" with a shell. He had a brilliant smile, a tenor voice and french way about him. He sang me a song and then handed me a stem of lavender. Oh how I love the smell of lavender. I walked into the cathedral with the scent of lavender in the air. Now when I smell lavender in the future, I will be transported back to this place.

Many people were around so I sat down in the back of the cathedral and worked on my journal which asks me probing questions about my experiences so far. The books I found have helped me mentally prepare for this prigrimage and continue to engage me on so many levels. Today was a day to face my shortcomings which haunt me and realize that GOD loves me no matter what and that I am forgiven by asking. It is not pleasant to face our sins; just like yesterday it wasn't fun to face my fears, but it is totally necessary to move to a new spiritual place with GOD. HE can't reach me as deeply as HE wants to if I am carrying around so much baggage. So I confessed all my sins and asked GOD to deal with them. Nothing I have been doing has helped me. So HE took them and in the process wiped me clean. I believe this to be a good exchange for me.

Since so many people were milling around, I decided to take a tour of the crypts. La crypte de cathedral de chartres sounds a bit spooky, but I am determined to see it all. The tour was in french. I am getting use to hearing french as background music while picking out a word or two in the mix. Part of the crypt dates back to the 4th century. According to legend, the fortress well was the final resting place of martyred saints like St. Modeste who went against her roman governor father and sided with the christians. He had no mercy for her and she was thrown into the well. The Vikings also used it during the raids of 858AD. A romanesque cathedral was built on top of the crypt foundations. After the fire of 1194, the gothic cathedral was built on the site using the few walls and most of the royal portal facade that had survived.

Walking on these ancient stones connects me to all the fellow believers who came before. They have been worshipping in these spaces for over 1600 years with the present cathedral intact for 800 years. A lot of prayers, tears, laughter & joy contained in these walls. Our tour group was taken into a side crypt constructed in 858. Some of the columns date to the 4 century. As I was taking my last photo shots, the lights turned off. In an instant, all was back. I hurried to the entrance gate as she was locking up. Wouldn't have wanted to spend the night there. The air was 10 degrees colder.

From there, we walked the path of many pilgrims as we took the ancient stairs to the cathedral above. This journey is said to resemble our walk from earth to heaven. The cathedral is designed to represent the new Jerusalem.

The cathedral was quiet and less crowded. I walked up the middle aisle and stopped on the 6 point rose petal of the labyrinth. The rosette is the destination. This spiritual practice of meditation has been around for centuries. I hope it makes a resurrection in this day and time. There is a website that helps you find the closest one to where you live. I found that Melpkin Abby in Summerville is closest to me. Nancy and I walked it a month ago. If you want more info on this unique way to worship, let me know.

I stood in the middle and looked at the cathedral in all directions. In my studies of labyrinths, I have come across a prayer to say at each petal. I have edited it to make it user friendly. The prayer uses the Lord's prayer to deepen the meditation experience. I have sent this prayer along in an attachment if you are interested in using it by itself. I have had a brilliant idea. When I get home, I plan to draw the rose petal on my seagrass rug in my bedroom so you can make a pilgrimage to my house to experience this way of praying.

You may become as hooked as I. Grace Cathedral in San Francisco was where I first walked a labyrinth.

On Friday, the chairs will be removed and all are free to walk the labyrinth. I can hardly wait. This is one of the oldest in the world. More to come on Friday.

PS Day 2 I made a statement that more female statues held books than male statues. I stand corrected. On further investigation, I found many monk looking men holding books also. I am just excited that in the age of illiteracy, there were women who were considered learned. Three cheers for those women!!!

DAY 2 of A PILGRIMAGE

Day 2

I am writing this in the morning of day 3 and have realized that I need to write at night before going to bed. It is so easy to forget especially those things that involve my senses.

I have been pondering about my senses; how we interact with the world using the information we gather from them. Yesterday, I came across a concept that the heart/soul is the 6th sense. After thinking about this all yesterday, I believe it to be true. Our heart interacts with the world like the rest of our senses. And just like the other senses, we have to spend time using it or we won't be able to communicate with it when it is trying to tell us something. All of our senses gather information for our brain to assimilate and form conclusions. An conclusion becomes more concrete as we incorporate more of our senses. We can still be fooled by our senses: that is why we should pay attention to all of our senses. We don't get the whole picture unless we use all six of our senses. In our heart/soul, each of us can hear that quiet voice that guides us. This voice is vital to being fully alive and fully awake.

My second day began late as jet lag kicked in. After purchasing un pain au chocolat, I walked to the cathedral. I entered through the side door. The interior was darker today. The front door was not being used. The sun was bright outside so the inside was filled with a half light of impressive color. This created a holy place with the scent of candles and the hush of whispers. My senses at work again! I sat in the back of the church so I could get a full view. The nave vaulting which crisscrosses the entire ceiling of the nave gave me the optical allusion that I could reach out and touch the other side. My brain told me this wasn't so, but the effect created a personal space that seems cosy even in a space so immense. Renovation is going on all around me- no sounds are heard, but the evidence of areas being covered by scaffolding is proof enough. The church is divided into four ends- designed as a cross. I am sitting at the bottom of the cross while the ambulatory is at it's head. The north and south windows & portals are found on either side.The ambulatory's renovation is complete which can be found behind and above the choir screen. The columns have been cleaned so the white of the stone comes through. As I sit in the opposite part of the church, the contrast of light and dark is starkly evident. I began to focus on light and darkness. This theme is found throughout the BIBLE. GOD and goodness is the light. The opposite is darkness. I realize as I look at the contrast, that a little darkness can be a good thing. The darkness contrasts the light area; making me appreciate the beautiful area that had been cleaned. The darkness points to the light- all eyes are drawn to it. The stain glass windows appear to shine brighter because they are surrounded by the whiteness.

Our broken world is filled with light and dark just as we are filled with the two. When one sees the light after only darkness, life shines brighter. As with the cathedral, the cleaning process is slow and tedious, but truly needed. As we clean away 'our' darkness, we begin to shine with a light that is irresistible. This light is our FATHER working through us. Allow the cleaning process. The timing may be inconvenient (the most beautiful part of Chartres is covered with draping and scaffolding - the Royal Portal and the West Rose Window. I am sad that I can't see the beauty of this, but know that others will be able to see when it is finished) There is never a "good time" for that cleaning. Just walk through it. Get to the other side.

As I continued to sit in this place, I became aware of feelings welling up in me. Feelings of my many fears threatened to bring tears to my eyes. I started to repress these scary feelings. GOD said "Let them come. You are in a safe place. We can examine them together." That is what I did. Tears flowed down my face as I released fear after fear. We looked at each one. Saw them for what they were not as I feared and I became lighter. It was emotionally draining and after a while, I had to get up and walk around. I walked the entire area again, stopping to look when I felt nudged.

I have trouble grasping the idea that this incredible building was constructed in the middle ages. A fire engulfed most of the church in 1194 and was rebuilt in just 30 years. It took a team of very dedicated people to see it to fruition. They say that all the villagers helped from those bringing water to the workers to the designers and craftsmen. One amazing fact is that no one signed their work. This is not true at other cathedrals. Many times the builders and craftsmen are remembered by name. GOD's name stands out even more because it was done anonymously and by using all the people. Each was valuable in their own way. Another interesting fact is that no one is buried in the cathedral. GOD's presence is felt all the more because it is truly dedicated to HIM. No competition.

My stomach began talking to me so I went outside to eat. There are many outdoor restaurants surrounding the cathedral. They seem to blend in with the square. I have purposely eaten at different restaurants so I can get a different perspective each time. I have benefitted from this by allowing me to focus on one part during each meal.

I returned to my room with an adapter for my computer and phone. Now I have proper electricity. I read and relaxed.

As the sun was going down, I realized I wanted to see the outside statues again. While reading, I had come across some that I wanted to see up close. The cathedral was closed for the day, but I could walk around the perimeter. I hurried to get there before the sun went down. As I walked around, I noticed how many women were portrayed. Not just Mary, mother of GOD, but other women like her mother Saint Anne and Mary Magdalene. Many female saints were featured, some carrying books. More females held books than the males. I will have to think on that for a couple days. I do like the idea that we women hold tight to learning and books. Books and especially the BOOK give us wisdom outside of ourselves and as women, we embrace this wisdom. I feel that we are more open. Maybe that is why JESUS had women around HIM and HE appeared to women first after HIS resurrection. More to ponder.

After dinner, I went on a train ride to see the buildings lit up. The talk was done in french so I got bits and pieces of the information, but the sound of french in the back ground added to the uniqueness of the experience.

On a side note, I have felt very safe here, even when walking back to the hotel at midnight. This is truly a special place and I am blessed to be here.

A PILGRIMAGE TO CHARTRES, FRANCE

Thoughts from a Pilgrim

I have been invited to meet GOD in Chartres, France. You may ask~ why travel so far when GOD is everywhere. That is a good question. One I asked also. The answer I found was this. GOD is everywhere and you can experience HIM in the most extraordinary places as well as the ordinary ones. BUT GOD has favorite places that HE wants to share with us. There are so many GOD favorite places that each of us will be invited in different ways and to different places. When we accept an invitation to a special place and make ready, HE meets us in BIG ways. What follows is my account of one journey.

Three months ago, GOD spoke loud and clear to the still quiet place in my soul~ Chartres and Go were in the same breathe. "How I asked? And when?"

Money is always an issue as well as time. HE said "No worries, I will supply" I said "ok" Within 3 days, I received an unexpected amount of cash~ enough to pay for my portion of my kids school tuition, taxes, tithing and the trip~ the four Ts. HE knows me so well~ I would have thought it foolish to go to France if I had a large tuition bill looming in my future. As for the time~ the kids were with their dad for 10 days in August. HE said~ 'both of your concerns are now mute, will you trust ME and GO?" What could I say other than YES?

Two months ago, through a series of events, I realized that I was called on a "pilgrimage" and that preparation was necessary. I was led to a series of books on preparing for a pilgrimage to Chartres. It was as if those books were written for me. How amazing!

Yesterday, I boarded a plane for Paris. I was nervous because I was being asked to embark on this alone. I asked GOD at the beginning of this adventure, if I would be traveling alone or with other people. HE said "Let me take care of this. Do not worry!" I am not sure if I am suppose to be "alone" the whole time, but at least the initial part. Also, I know my high school french won't be sufficient. I have been to France three times, but never to Chartres and never alone.

I think this invitation will be a festival of senses. On the plane last night, the stars were spectacular. The moon was breathtaking. The sunrise above the clouds transcending. I was in awe of the majesty GOD has created. Arriving in Chartres by train today was delightful. My french is lacking in verbal response, but is coming back in written form. I am taking my time in communicating and it is going well.

I read that when one approaches a place of holiness, one should circle the perimeter first and notice any places that speak to you. Listen to the voice of longing. Then walk inside and circle that as well. Continue to take note of your feelings and where GOD may want you to pause and listen. Don't stop yet as you circumambulate.

Look, pray, listen, feel, notice, open.

When you arrive back to your starting point, ask GOD where he wants you to pause and be still.

I did this in my preparation for meeting GOD. As I walked the perimeter, I was stunned by the awesomeness that makes this cathedral an incredible feat of architecture and design. The flying buttresses and stone walls meet incredibly detailed beautifully colored stain glass windows. This cathedral was built in the late 12th century when many people were illiterate. The windows and statues tell the story of the BIBLE as well as the saints that followed. These emotionally moving scenes speak to one's heart. I believe art can touch you in ways that the written word can not. While still outside, I stopped to smell the roses.~literally. The smell of those roses were intoxicating; one more of my senses heightened in sensitivity. Amazement in GOD's incredible bounty. GOD is a sharer. HE delights in sharing his bounty with us.

After some time outside, I walked inside. I was anxious to experience the soaring space that causes one to look upward. It was as I pictured and even more so. Many people wandered around and I wandered along. I circled the sanctuary and then stopped on the labyrinth covered with chairs. I knew about the labyrinth and am looking forward to walking it on Friday when the chairs are removed. I sat down and quietly took in the incredibleness of it all. Words do escape me in describing the experience. Suffice to say, I was touched. MY SOUL WAS AT PEACE. I have experienced the peace that passes all understanding before at times of great distress, but have never felt that my soul was at peace. What a feeling to be broken, open and at peace all at the same time. Could anything feel any better? I think not. This is GOD at work. Inner Peace despite all the chaos on the outside. WOW. This is what GOD's people have spoken of in the BIBLE. What a gift.

After a nap, I returned to the church for an evening concert. It was dark in the sanctuary with only candles for light. A woman sang while another played the flute. There was also a cellist. The haunting music rang out in the silence and slowly floated upward. Another experience for the senses. Afterwards I walked to the back of the cathedral where I was alone. I sat in a place that GOD had marked on my heart. The quiet and aloneness opened me to a dialogue with my FATHER. I told HIM how wonderful everything was so far. I was surprised, delighted and honored to be treated so well. HE was pleased that I was so excited. It delights HIM to give us good things. I couldn't stop smiling. What joy!

When I was finished with the inside, I asked if WE could move outside. To my utter delight, there was a beautifully executed light show on the cathedral's facade. I laughed to think how like GOD it is to be concerned with all the details. I sat on one of the stone blocks with a hundred other people and enjoyed the night air and cloudless evening. I learned that this village lights up 26 buildings during the summer months. When I say light up, it is hard to express the colors, design and breathtaking beauty these lights convey. It is spell binding.

All these and I have only been on my pilgrimage for 24 hours. What more amazing things does my FATHER have in store for me, I dare not imagine. HIS imagination is so much more vivid.

If you want to hear the rest of the story, email me and let me know. I don't want to bombard anyone with unwanted mail.

GOD bless you and keep you. May HE shine HIS face upon you and give you HIS peace.