Day 2
I am writing this in the morning of day 3 and have realized that I need to write at night before going to bed. It is so easy to forget especially those things that involve my senses.
I have been pondering about my senses; how we interact with the world using the information we gather from them. Yesterday, I came across a concept that the heart/soul is the 6th sense. After thinking about this all yesterday, I believe it to be true. Our heart interacts with the world like the rest of our senses. And just like the other senses, we have to spend time using it or we won't be able to communicate with it when it is trying to tell us something. All of our senses gather information for our brain to assimilate and form conclusions. An conclusion becomes more concrete as we incorporate more of our senses. We can still be fooled by our senses: that is why we should pay attention to all of our senses. We don't get the whole picture unless we use all six of our senses. In our heart/soul, each of us can hear that quiet voice that guides us. This voice is vital to being fully alive and fully awake.
My second day began late as jet lag kicked in. After purchasing un pain au chocolat, I walked to the cathedral. I entered through the side door. The interior was darker today. The front door was not being used. The sun was bright outside so the inside was filled with a half light of impressive color. This created a holy place with the scent of candles and the hush of whispers. My senses at work again! I sat in the back of the church so I could get a full view. The nave vaulting which crisscrosses the entire ceiling of the nave gave me the optical allusion that I could reach out and touch the other side. My brain told me this wasn't so, but the effect created a personal space that seems cosy even in a space so immense. Renovation is going on all around me- no sounds are heard, but the evidence of areas being covered by scaffolding is proof enough. The church is divided into four ends- designed as a cross. I am sitting at the bottom of the cross while the ambulatory is at it's head. The north and south windows & portals are found on either side.The ambulatory's renovation is complete which can be found behind and above the choir screen. The columns have been cleaned so the white of the stone comes through. As I sit in the opposite part of the church, the contrast of light and dark is starkly evident. I began to focus on light and darkness. This theme is found throughout the BIBLE. GOD and goodness is the light. The opposite is darkness. I realize as I look at the contrast, that a little darkness can be a good thing. The darkness contrasts the light area; making me appreciate the beautiful area that had been cleaned. The darkness points to the light- all eyes are drawn to it. The stain glass windows appear to shine brighter because they are surrounded by the whiteness.
Our broken world is filled with light and dark just as we are filled with the two. When one sees the light after only darkness, life shines brighter. As with the cathedral, the cleaning process is slow and tedious, but truly needed. As we clean away 'our' darkness, we begin to shine with a light that is irresistible. This light is our FATHER working through us. Allow the cleaning process. The timing may be inconvenient (the most beautiful part of Chartres is covered with draping and scaffolding - the Royal Portal and the West Rose Window. I am sad that I can't see the beauty of this, but know that others will be able to see when it is finished) There is never a "good time" for that cleaning. Just walk through it. Get to the other side.
As I continued to sit in this place, I became aware of feelings welling up in me. Feelings of my many fears threatened to bring tears to my eyes. I started to repress these scary feelings. GOD said "Let them come. You are in a safe place. We can examine them together." That is what I did. Tears flowed down my face as I released fear after fear. We looked at each one. Saw them for what they were not as I feared and I became lighter. It was emotionally draining and after a while, I had to get up and walk around. I walked the entire area again, stopping to look when I felt nudged.
I have trouble grasping the idea that this incredible building was constructed in the middle ages. A fire engulfed most of the church in 1194 and was rebuilt in just 30 years. It took a team of very dedicated people to see it to fruition. They say that all the villagers helped from those bringing water to the workers to the designers and craftsmen. One amazing fact is that no one signed their work. This is not true at other cathedrals. Many times the builders and craftsmen are remembered by name. GOD's name stands out even more because it was done anonymously and by using all the people. Each was valuable in their own way. Another interesting fact is that no one is buried in the cathedral. GOD's presence is felt all the more because it is truly dedicated to HIM. No competition.
My stomach began talking to me so I went outside to eat. There are many outdoor restaurants surrounding the cathedral. They seem to blend in with the square. I have purposely eaten at different restaurants so I can get a different perspective each time. I have benefitted from this by allowing me to focus on one part during each meal.
I returned to my room with an adapter for my computer and phone. Now I have proper electricity. I read and relaxed.
As the sun was going down, I realized I wanted to see the outside statues again. While reading, I had come across some that I wanted to see up close. The cathedral was closed for the day, but I could walk around the perimeter. I hurried to get there before the sun went down. As I walked around, I noticed how many women were portrayed. Not just Mary, mother of GOD, but other women like her mother Saint Anne and Mary Magdalene. Many female saints were featured, some carrying books. More females held books than the males. I will have to think on that for a couple days. I do like the idea that we women hold tight to learning and books. Books and especially the BOOK give us wisdom outside of ourselves and as women, we embrace this wisdom. I feel that we are more open. Maybe that is why JESUS had women around HIM and HE appeared to women first after HIS resurrection. More to ponder.
After dinner, I went on a train ride to see the buildings lit up. The talk was done in french so I got bits and pieces of the information, but the sound of french in the back ground added to the uniqueness of the experience.
On a side note, I have felt very safe here, even when walking back to the hotel at midnight. This is truly a special place and I am blessed to be here.
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